Empathy Elevates Your Engagement
Feb 08, 2026
Have you ever felt too busy to truly listen to your team members?
Were you shocked when employee surveys revealed your people feel unheard despite your open-door policy?
Does it surprise you that one-third of adults report they struggle to see another person's point of view?
You have an empathy crisis in your work culture that silently erodes loyalty.
Connection Failure Collapses in on Culture
Think about how deeply the empathy deficit infiltrates your leadership:
- You glance up impatiently from your screen when team members approach with concerns.
- You ask leading questions that telegraph the answers you want rather than genuinely discovering their perspective.
- You respond to problems before fully understanding them, solving the wrong issues entirely.
Rob Volpe, an "empathy activist," shared research from the University of Michigan showing a 40% decline in empathy from 1979 to 2001. The culprits include technology, social media, political polarization, and algorithms creating echo chambers.
Shift from Dismissive to Curious
The traditional approach to busy leadership said, "I'm too stressed for empathy right now."
The R.E.T.A.I.N. framework says, "Take a curious breath and make space for understanding."
Rob told me on the Work Positive Podcast, "It's in those moments where you think 'I'm too busy, I'm so stressed,' that's when you need to pause and take that curious breath."
Empathy drives extraordinary retention benefits. Research shows 86% of people with empathetic leadership feel they can balance work and life compared to only 40% without it. The O.C. Tanner Institute found that employees picture themselves staying 2.5 years longer when their leader is empathetic.
“I Listened Him Down.”
What does empathetic leadership look like in practice? Matthew Hill shared a powerful phrase from a hostage negotiator: "I listened him down." Not talked down. Listened down.
Matthew reminded me, "You've got two of these ears and one of these mouths." The ratio has a reason. When Chuck Cooper helped a company hemorrhaging talent teach their managers to listen with intent, their turnover dropped by more than 50% in six months. The bonus? New hires started coming from employee referrals.
Your R.E.T.A.I.N. Challenge
Try these three actions this week:
- Replace “Why” with “What”: Stop using "why" in questions. Instead of "Why did you miss that deadline?" ask "What happened with the timeline?" Same information, completely different emotional experience.
- Practice the Curious Breath: Before responding to your next three challenging conversations, pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself, “What does this person really need from me right now?”
- Listen to Understand: In your next one-to-one, commit to not speaking until your team member finishes completely. Notice what you learn when you actively listen.
The Work Positive Bottom Line
The best leaders today cultivate empathy as a strategic retention advantage rather than dismissing it as too time-consuming for busy schedules.
Stop being too busy to connect. Start leading with empathy so you R.E.T.A.I.N. top talent today.
Taken from Dr. Joey's newest book, Stop the Revolving Door: How to R.E.T.A.I.N. Top Talent Today.
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