Raise Your EQ Culture: Separate from Anxiety
Jun 01, 2025
Ed Friedman mentored me through his book, Generation to Generation, in what it takes to architect a positive work culture. Friedman started me down the path of understanding how to architect a work culture of what we now call emotional intelligence or EQ. This book was published before my friend Josh Freedman began his State of the Heart report.
I thought about Friedman’s four amazing positive work truths as Josh and I discussed the findings of the 2025 State of the Heart report in our Work Positive Podcast episode, What’s the State of Your Company’s Heart? The report was dismal, by the way.
Friedman’s first way to raise your EQ culture is to separate yourself from the anxiety at work.
“But Dr. Joey,” you say. “That’s easier said than done.”
Of course it is.
So what is the anxiety volume like in your work?
Distracting? Dominating? Deafening?
You’re not alone.
Anti-anxiety prescriptions rose 30% during the pandemic. Who knows how many others find it difficult to cope who aren’t getting medical help?
So how do you separate yourself from the anxiety around you at work and raise your EQ culture?
Here are three tactics to try today:
Take a Breath
One of the best days of my life was when I learned I didn’t have to say everything I thought.
I’m very extroverted. So when an anxiety-ridden teammate spews all over me, I want to fix the situation or straighten them out.
I can count on one finger the number of times I’ve done this, and they’ve said, “Oh Dr. Joey! That’s brilliant. I’ll do exactly what you said right now.”
Most team members aren’t ready for a solution. They just want to vent the anxiety.
Instead of saying what I think, I take a breath. I installed a mental filter that helps me focus on the positive and filter out the negative. That one breath, strategically inhaled and exhaled, has helped me separate myself from the anxiety more times than I can count.
The filter works.
Now I listen, smile, and breathe.
(Andrew McNeill and I talk about the power of a breath in our Work Positive Podcast episode, Transform Work Chaos with Mindfulness.)
First, take a breath when anxiety appears.
Take a Long View
After you take a breath, ask yourself, “How much will this matter a year from now? Five years from now?”
Most anxiety is generated from situations that are more inconvenience than incapacitating, more difficult than devastating, and more temporary than timeless.
(To help you distinguish between clinical anxiety and “normal anxiety” better, and gain some helpful techniques to deal with both, listen to this Mel Robbins podcast episode.)
Anxiety shoves the situation to the foreground when it belongs in the background.
Take the long view and ask, “Any blood on the floor? Anybody having a stroke or heart attack?” If so, dial 9-1-1 immediately. If not, say to yourself, “Okay, good. Now take a breath and slowly describe what’s going on.”
Anxiety makes everything a short-term crisis. You imagine the worst for now and later.
A long view creates a more realistic perspective. The situation is far less threatening, and you think more clearly when you take a long view.
Take Time Away
Taking a breath and a long view help day-to-day. Now let’s look beyond the daily.
Those teammates who contribute most to a positive work culture make a habit of taking some time away. The high level of anxiety in most work cultures today necessitates a regular detox.
You lessen anxiety in the system rather than add to it when you take time away. Your focus shifts to refueling your capacity to separate from it. You act like a step-down transformer rather than a step-up one.
Taking some time away increases your productivity. Your flow comes more easily when you step aside than find out how many volts of anxiety you can absorb for how long.
Short bursts of time away work well. Zoom over coffee with a friend. Do lunch with your child or grandchild and include some playtime. I’m particularly helped by walks in nature. (Karen Liebenguth and I discussed the strategic role such walks can have in creating a positive work culture in the Work Positive Podcast episode, Harness Nature's Power to Transform Your Work Culture.)
Take an extended weekend quarterly. Get out of your anxiety-filled head. Go with your gut for a few days. You renew your emotional stamina to take a breath and a long view when you take time away.
Raise your EQ culture as you take a breath, a long view and time away so you separate yourself from anxiety to create a Work Positive culture that grows people and profits.
Discover more great ways to Work Positive in an anxious world when you listen to my Work Positive podcast interview, Empathetic Leadership: Building Stronger Workplace Relationships with Chester Elton.
What's your question about creating a positive work culture? Ask Dr. Joey here.
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